End of an Era

A sickening, yet familiar feeling of fear washes over me. Although smaller battles have already been fought and won a few months past, the thought of facing my most dreaded enemy yet again is too frightening. I have put off this major battle for as long as I could - distracting myself with other, more manageable battles. Which by the way, have also been victorious.

Why should I be scared? I have fought a much bigger, more monstrous version of this enemy two years ago. That battle was brilliant - so many struggles and obstacles along the way to victory. But I won it. I won it...

Today is the day. There is no more excuses, no more hiding, no more running away. I must be brave. I must.

So today marks the end of an Era. The Era of Procrastination.

I shall now take a stab at my most dreaded Masters thesis. *Haaaaaii-YAAA!!!*

Grateful

I didn't expect much this year... unlike past years. But the less I expected, the more I received. My world has changed - it looks very different from where I am now. And I couldn't have done it without everyone's help.

Thank you to everyone for all the birthday wishes! It really made my day that much more special. =)

~Much love to all~

Credit to Life's Teachers

Everyone that comes into your life teaches you something - about people, about the world, and about yourself. Some people who enter your life encourage your growth through a positive relationship with you - mentoring and guiding you through good and bad times, sharing your successes and failures. These people are easily classified into the "good" category and they have important places in our hearts. It's very easy to love these people and to speak well of them.

Other people, however, speed up your growth through having a negative relationship with you. Perhaps you have never gotten along with these people. Or perhaps it began positively but then the relationship sours by circumstances or misunderstandings. These people are easily classified into the "bad" category and often you'd just rather forget that these people even exist. It's very easy to hate these people and to speak ill of them.

What is it about the latter category of people that are so difficult? Whereas the former category of people do things with good intentions towards you, those in the latter category may not have intentions quite so pure. Sometimes even with intentions to harm. These people challenge your beliefs and self-perceptions. Perhaps they accuse you of things that you wouldn't in a million years agree with. Or perhaps they spread their ill-will towards you on to others. Whatever it is, it's never easy to deal with.

What is one's natural reaction towards these people? To defend oneself, to retaliate, and even to hate.

Why is this the case? What is there to protect?

Everyone has a sense of ego - a sense of self. We all have an image of who we are, what we represent. When our sense of 'self' is under attack, we want to protect this 'self'.

A couple of things to think about though...

• Why are they attacking in the first place? Do they have any basis for their attacks? First of all, reflect on your own actions. Put yourself in their shoes - would you react the same way if you were them? Most of the time people don't start attacking for no reason - there has to be better things to do in life than making random attacks. If that is the case, there are lessons to be learnt. What could you have done differently? This is by no means an easy feat - taking a good look at yourself is challenging at the best of times. But this must be done in order to move forward and become a better person for it.
  

• Why is this sense of self so important to us? And why must others agree with our sense of self? Sometimes people go too far and attack just for the hell of it after a while. They can attack all they want but as long as you know who you are and what you are doing - it does not matter what their opinions are if you do not believe them to be true. Often these people can teach you how not to act.
  

Many people come and go in one's lifetime. For better or worse, these people will teach you something. Your experiences shape you into who you are today.

So here's paying credit where credit is due - thank you for the experience.

What We Need

Amidst all the turmoil, strife and suffering in the world, we all need...

Love: May all beings have happiness and its causes

Compassion: May all beings be free of suffering and its causes

Immeasurable Love
How do we come to love someone? What does it take for love to arise in our hearts?

The sort of love involved in immeasurable love is a genuine feeling of caring and respect for others. We wish them to be happy and to have whatever they need for a healthy, satisfying life. It can also be called loving-kindness.

What gives rise to such love?

• Realising the important role people play in our lives - there are many people who contribute to our well-being without our realising it. Everything we have, use and enjoy comes from other people.
• Realising that all beings are the same in wanting happiness and not wanting suffering. Just as I want to stay alive and be happy, so does everyone else. Just as I do not want to experience pain and problems, neither does anyone else.

Love involves wishing everyone to have the causes of happiness, and the love we develop should be pure and unselfish, expecting nothing in return. Love also transcends boundaries.


Immeasurable Compassion
Compassion differs slightly from love. Love wants others to be happy, while compassion wants them to not have pain, problems or unhappiness. Love comes from appreciating others' kindness, or just respecting them as fellow beings, whereas compassion comes from realising that they suffer.

Our own experiences of suffering are the basis for compassion. We know what it's like to be sick or in pain, to be lonely or have our feelings hurt by an unkind remark, to fear the unknown or mourn the death of a loved one. When we then see or hear of others experiencing these things, our heart opens with a feeling of empathy and a wish to help. This is compassion.

• True compassion balances loving concern with clear wisdom. This wisdom enables us to stay calm and think clearly how best to help, without being carried away by our emotions.
• It is easier for compassion to arise towards some than towards others, but this is only because we have a limited idea of how beings suffer. Physically, everyone has a body that experiences hunger, thirst, heat, cold and tiredness; that gets sick, ages and will one day die.

Compassion wishes all beings to be free not only from suffering but from its causes as well. Compassion stops us from harming others.

But how can we have compassion towards someone who harms us or our loved ones? Compassion involves understanding the situation of others. It asks us to put ourselves in the other person's shoes. "What is he/she thinking? How does he/she feel? What makes him/her behave like this?" If we do this with an open heart, we'll realise that the other person is not happy, that he/she is not in control of his/her own mind but rather he/she is under the control of his/her own delusions, which only cause him/her suffering. This will help us to understand that it is more appropriate to respond with calm patience than with anger and the wish to retaliate.

-- Adapted from Ven. Sangye Khadro. (1996). Awakening a Kind Heart.

Take Control of the Steering Wheel

Imagine our body as being a motor bus and all our moods as passengers. They are trying to get in the driver's seat to take control of the steering wheel. What do you think will happen in such a situation? An accident or a crash will result. And this is what happens to most people in their lives, if they do not know how to handle their changing moods which cause their character to be rather unstable.

You must reduce the number of passengers. Drop some off at the bus stops along the way. Get rid of those who are troublesome. Get rid of your anger, greed, worry, jealousy, ill-will and so on which influence your moods. With such harmful distractions out of the way, there will be no jostling for the driver's seat and you will be able to drive in peace. You will be in full control of the bus. Your body and mind will be under your control and you can go where you want to. You will be the master of yourself.

-- K. Sri Dhammananda



"Drive" by Incubus

Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before
And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find that I
Should be the one behind the wheel

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there

So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before
And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around
But lately I'm beginning to find that
When I drive myself my light is found

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
With open arms and open eyes yeah

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there
I'll be there

Would you choose the water over wine
Hold the wheel and drive

What You Get

If you always do what you've always done,

then you'll always get what you've always got.

-- Paul - Shannon Ponton's boxing trainer on Biggest Loser

Peace

Develop the quiet,

even state of mind.

When praised by some

and condemned by others,

free the mind from

hate and pride, and

gently go your way in peace.

-- Heart of a Buddha